It's his party but I'll cry if I want to

Odd phenomena;
Take vegan food to a BBQ and meatatarians eat it before you can.
Friendly is good. Doormat is bad.
You will always spend the evening talking to the people that you didn't really plan on talking to.
Midnight always comes around very fast.
All babies that arrive will be gorgeous and make you jealous and weepy.
Weird things will fall out of trees and into your hair.
You will feel oddly fat and not at all 'the life of the party'
You are always left wondering why you didn't have a chance to speak to your best friends but wasted hours talking 'shop'
You resolve to be a size 8 and a brilliant but aloof conversationalist at the next event.
Lydgate will not come down with a case of the evil phlegm-monster next time.
You realise that boring brown is boring brown but aren't quite brave enough to go pink.
Everyone will see you as a complimentary cigarette machine and not realise that you have $20 to your name until pay-day.
You are vaguely perturbed that everyone else is going to mardi-gras fabulously while you sit in a coffe shop and talk business.
Your brother strokes your husbands hand in greeting, but barely registers your existence.
$200 flew away and you don't know where exactly.

This is what happens when you weekend in Newtown.